in short

my belly hurts. no one replied to any of my text messages so i treated myself to KFC and got 7 pieces of spicy wings with a side of mash potatoes.

then i stuffed my nose.

my super sweet sixteen

my knee feels dislocated and it makes a cracking noise every time i move it. when i get up from sitting i look like an elderly woman battling arthritis. you might feel bad for me until i tell you it was a sex-related incident.
i eat some macaroni and cheese and practice reciting my favorite rap songs. all the while i am at work. all the while my knee feels 88 years old. all the while i observe my calves in the mirror and worry that they might have an inferiority complex. i realize that there is nothing i am sad about at this moment. feels like this could be a reason for celebration and throwing a party with cake and special guest star dr. dre.

This is my to-go box

for three little dumplings

everything in diary form

at work everything was in a constant rush like hurry hurry get this done. call this person and that person and send this and do it quick quick quick. really felt 'alive' once my shift was over. met up with an old friend for sushi and beer. we talked about jobs, poverty, and relationships. gay relationships are just like straight ones but with more anal. i drove to school and parked 10 minutes away for leg muscle development. felt people staring at my broken zipper. went to the restroom to confirm that i was attractive. met up with k on campus and he walked me to class like it was junior high. it felt nice. kept thinking 'this bra makes my boobs look too big.' had a pumpkin spice latte on my break and wished that i spent those 300 calories on something else.

it feels like my underwear is on backwards

i need another cup of coffee to keep me awake. listening to your soundcloud mixes and imagining myself dancing in neon spandex. i'm creating a spotify playlist titled "sex" but can only think of r&b songs. do you ever feel like you can really relate to a beyonce song? i dyed my hair the other day because my face was bored of my face. now my brain is saying WHY WHY WHY.

i feel like an adult that is living for the weekends. need to be more adventurous like jenny lewis. going to freeze my underwear for an hour and put them on to truly feel 'alive'

met xabi at 14:45 infront of  principe pios super mall. we are 15 minutes late yet need to have a caña before transforming into real ¨guests¨
talked about what happens when people are emotionally paralyzed. talked about who we love out of natural circumstances. fifteen minutes later we are crossing a bridge and he is taking a photo of me under the teleferico. later i send it to a lover who i think is loosing attraction for me.

i scream HI as i walk in the door before apologizing for landing tardy. 

i think about santos and how he told me that i have an attention problem as i dont have the capacity to sit through a movie.  how i can hardly pay attention to one thing. i start arriving to a regular paranoia and drink a glass of white wine. ate some cheese paired with bread and a grape. there are some real tomatoes. there is mariam´s pregnant sister taking a nap. there is me wanting a smoke. her house made me feel ten levels higher. i start painting my toe nails with black glitter. we sit on a hammock and take pictures together with my iphone. i post nothing online. i play a record called Break Machine. her sister eats some pasta and i talk to her about slavery vs vegetarianism. i say something like ¨vegetarians are so selfless that they probably would´ve never owned slaves.¨ i feel myself interesting which excites me.  ten seconds later i change the subject  and ask her if she feels her baby eating. i notice my eyes growing big with excitement and start whispering.


when we leave i get tense as i feel forced to make a good plan. i call diego and he tells me theres an after party in his place and to run over because i am invited. i enter his house and see his usual friends in a heavy state. theres someone fat whom ive never seen before. i give diego a poster that i made in reference to drug abuse. we walk around the house and imagine what it would give to each wall.

i feel it important to make more plans so call a friend and come over for a movie and make another plan after that just in case i get bored of something titled ¨brazil¨

within one hour i am a sleep and my phone is vibrating. i imagine myself getting up and leaving but seeing him next to me makes me feel too comfortable.

it´s morning and ive slept 8 hours.

LOSING MY VIRGINITY

to america

with a double cheeseburger.

thought about how i should be around the right kind of people
thought about basketball bringing me in
thought about adopting myself.

yesterday was foggy like nothing even happened.

met you in a square. seemed like your eyes were sagging.

THE HOLY MOUNTAIN

thoughts while watching the holy mountain:

'what the fuck what the fuck'
'holy shit'
'the fuck?'
'whoooa'

and other similar variations

poem of the day