met xabi at 14:45 infront of  principe pios super mall. we are 15 minutes late yet need to have a caña before transforming into real ¨guests¨
talked about what happens when people are emotionally paralyzed. talked about who we love out of natural circumstances. fifteen minutes later we are crossing a bridge and he is taking a photo of me under the teleferico. later i send it to a lover who i think is loosing attraction for me.

i scream HI as i walk in the door before apologizing for landing tardy. 

i think about santos and how he told me that i have an attention problem as i dont have the capacity to sit through a movie.  how i can hardly pay attention to one thing. i start arriving to a regular paranoia and drink a glass of white wine. ate some cheese paired with bread and a grape. there are some real tomatoes. there is mariam´s pregnant sister taking a nap. there is me wanting a smoke. her house made me feel ten levels higher. i start painting my toe nails with black glitter. we sit on a hammock and take pictures together with my iphone. i post nothing online. i play a record called Break Machine. her sister eats some pasta and i talk to her about slavery vs vegetarianism. i say something like ¨vegetarians are so selfless that they probably would´ve never owned slaves.¨ i feel myself interesting which excites me.  ten seconds later i change the subject  and ask her if she feels her baby eating. i notice my eyes growing big with excitement and start whispering.


when we leave i get tense as i feel forced to make a good plan. i call diego and he tells me theres an after party in his place and to run over because i am invited. i enter his house and see his usual friends in a heavy state. theres someone fat whom ive never seen before. i give diego a poster that i made in reference to drug abuse. we walk around the house and imagine what it would give to each wall.

i feel it important to make more plans so call a friend and come over for a movie and make another plan after that just in case i get bored of something titled ¨brazil¨

within one hour i am a sleep and my phone is vibrating. i imagine myself getting up and leaving but seeing him next to me makes me feel too comfortable.